there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize