Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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