So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
