the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
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I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
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