I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize