Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
