my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
i out mim tonsoeep
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