Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize