This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
