I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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