did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Randomize
