Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
