Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
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