nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Randomize
