And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
cat food counts as protein by the way
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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