Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
My hand turned me down
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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