if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I need mimosas to revive my soul
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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