In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
