Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
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