Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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