Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
