Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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