I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Randomize
