i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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