I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
