i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
