The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
