I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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