discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
