One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
