im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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