Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.