everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
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i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
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I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life