if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"