wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
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How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
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I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
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