you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
being pregnant is like rehab
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize