How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
