dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
