I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
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