I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
