So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
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