He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
