I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
