I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
