Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
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He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
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You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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