he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
