just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
