I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
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