yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I just threw up on my dentist
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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