so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
