She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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