you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
