I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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