What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
