I think I won the penis lottery.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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