Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Randomize
