i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
is that a dick in a sweater?
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
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