omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
