Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
