I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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