don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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