alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
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