Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
