don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Randomize
